Well, what a couple of years I’ve had! Pre-pandemic, I was an overweight, middle aged Retail Manager, vehemently against my husband's Naturism. The arrival of Covid into all of our lives had quite the impact on mine. During the first lockdown I was at home, having been furloughed and began cooking healthy meals and the weight began to drop off. The weather was glorious and feeling a little more confident, I bought a bikini and THAT was the start. Fast forward 20 months, I quit the nine-to-five and I am now Women in Naturism Campaign Coordinator for British Naturism and a writer for Body Freedom International. These days, you’ll often find me with fewer clothes than my husband!
When I was raped at aged 14, I felt I must have done something wrong for it to happen to me. I struggled with the lengthy court case and my behaviour became erratic, skipping school and developing an eating disorder. The whole episode shaped my views on sex and nudity for years to come.
Fast forward to 2015 when social media reunited me with an old school friend, Simon - now my husband. We began chatting online. There wasn’t any romantic interest at that time as we were both married but eventually both our marriages ended. Quite early into our relationship, Simon revealed he liked to live a ‘clothing-optional’ lifestyle. I didn't understand what he meant by that. I mean, I take my clothes off to have a shower or to be intimate but that's all. When he moved in, the reality sunk in. I returned home from work early to find him sitting at his desk completely butt naked! I swore a lot, called him a weirdo and walked out. I was actually disgusted that he could be naked in my house where my young daughter (8) could see him at any time. I wanted to protect her (and myself) from any unnecessary viewings of the penis! A few ‘robust’ conversations followed over the next few months and we agreed that he would cover up, especially when my daughter was around. I still felt uncomfortable knowing he was going to be naked at home whilst I was out but could also see that his desire to be clothes free wasn't going to go away so we reached that compromise.
Meanwhile, I was having issues with my weight. I was a size 14 but wanting to be the size eight teenager he knew at school. Simon showed me that he loved me irrespective of size but over the next few years I ballooned to a size 20, weighing in at over 15 stone. Something had to change.
I was at home on furlough for 6 weeks and I had the time to make proper, healthy meals from scratch. I reduced portion sizes and my weight dropped. I plucked up the courage to put my new bikini on and soak up some rays in the garden. Simon took some pictures and for the first time in ages, I wasn't repulsed. It inspired me. I answered an advert for lingerie models of any age or size and was accepted. I couldn't believe there was a market for the mature curvy woman! My confidence soared and I could see that the world was ever evolving and the days of the ‘ideal’ image was disappearing.
I went along to a Naturist event at Max’s Garden in West Sussex with Simon. I really didn't want to be a part of it but in order to be supportive wife, I agreed to go along - on the understanding I could keep my clothes on. An art session was organised where I was the clothed model being drawn by naked people. I didn't know where to look! Ever the professional, I was there to do a job so I got on with it. Afterwards we hung around and just chatted to people. I soon forgot about their bits and bobs and I felt a bit daft—not to mention hot—in my dress. Bracing myself, I took it off … and NOTHING happened! The world kept turning, nobody stared or judged. In fact, I even walked around the resort without my clothes. Never had I encountered a group of such friendly, down-to-earth people and would never have dreamed that this environment would liberate me, not only from clothes but from my body issues.
Since that day, I have understood the feeling and empowerment body acceptance gives you. I finally accept the skin I'm in and actively encourage others to give it a go.
Here’s what Simon says:
“I have always had an on-off relationship with clothing. As a teenager I would wait for my parents to go out and strip off for the day. I married my first wife when I was still very young and she did not condone any form of nudity, so I repressed it for many years. However you can’t hide part of your nature forever. When that marriage started to break down I looked for my own space and to ‘find myself’ again. I discovered there was a label I could use - a ‘Naturist’. I also found out about the World Naked Bike Ride, and my first ever socially nude experience was in the Exeter WNBR in 2011. I quickly decided this was my space, and even got involved with setting up Plymouth Sun Club in 2012.
I don’t think Helen was prepared for the reality of a clothes-freedom. She had grown up and lived by typical societal beliefs regarding nudity - that it was either sex-related, amusing, or disgusting. To find me naked at home upset her, and I felt awful for it. I again tried to repress my desire to be nude for the woman I was falling in love with, and, once again, would wait until I was alone to undress. But it upset me greatly that I had to hide part of myself from the woman I wanted to build my forever-partnership with. Her attitude upset me, as I could see that her own body image struggles would be addressed by Naturism. In the winter it was easier, but I found myself with a constant struggle in the summer months. I allowed myself to be caught, thereby keeping the conversation alive. After a few years together she recognised that her society-based views on nudity were not necessarily true, and made allowances for me to go nude in limited circumstances. She still thought it was weird though, and said she loved me ‘in spite’ of me being a Naturist. I smiled, but that did hurt.
After the bikini and lingerie photo shoots I could see an opportunity to show her the joy of nudity - talking to someone will only take them so far, they have to experience it for themselves and found the event at Max’s Garden. I fell in love with her all over again and our life together leapt to a new level of happiness that day and has only been getting better and better ever since.
To this day I continue to marvel at the transformation she has allowed herself to go through - an incredibly brave thing to do, and I’m honoured she placed her trust in me to take that initial leap of faith. For it does take an immense amount of trust for a non-Naturist to try Naturism. I continue to be so very proud of her.”
Not only did my attitude towards nudity change, it had an impact on the rest of the family too. Simon has two daughters (21 and 19) and I have a 15 year old who has had Simon (and his Naturist ways!) in her life since she was eight years old. Here’s what they say about it:
Meredith (21)
“Having grown up with a Naturist father, Naturism and nudity to me is simply something that exists. I may not identify as a Naturist myself but I am not bothered or perturbed by the naked human body in a Naturist environment and I’m happy to bare all if I wish, it’s simply a fact of life. Because of this, in my time knowing Helen and having her in the family, seeing her mindset shift from one of reluctance and fear, to being open and accepting of Naturism has been incredible. Seeing someone close to you becoming comfortable in their own skin and loving their body for what it is, is simply wonderful.”
Indeed, Meredith has joined us at a retreat and been happy to get involved herself. She has even featured in some of our “Naked retro gaming nights”.
Lizzie (19)
“You don’t question what’s normal to you. Growing up, dad was often naked around the house and as a kid I thought nothing of it. Even as I got older and started to realise it may not be what everyone’s parents do, it still never bothered me. It just gave me a different, healthier view of nudity—being unbothered by someone not wearing clothes makes life easier. I have no problem telling my friends that my Dad’s a Naturist when it comes up and that no, I don’t care if they walk in on me when I’m changing. I find that my generation, or at least the people I associate with, do not care. Granted, they may not start stripping too, but rewriting a lifetime in instilled ‘modesty’ may take a moment. Helen wasn’t into it at first, and look at her now. Now my dad and step-mum are both Naturists. In the nicest way possible, I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s found someone to share his passion with.”
Lizzie is comfortable to be around the two of us when we are sans clothes, comfortable in the skin she is in and happy to be nude herself sometimes. In the early days, it was me that felt awkward if either of the girls walked around topless. My, how things have changed!
Dilara (15)
“My parents are always naked. When it first started happening I thought it was very strange but then they taught me that the idea is not anything sexual, it is a way to express yourself and the confidence that you have. People get this conception mixed up and automatically jump to the conclusion that it is sexual however it really isn’t. I am not a nudist nor will I ever be (I do still find the notion kinda embarrassing) but I am not going to judge what my parents choose to do. My mum is actually helping people with mental health problems and eating disorders involving nudity which is really good.”
She’s come a long way too. From getting used to seeing her stepfather naked, she then had to deal with her own mum getting naked! She at first couldn’t understand my change of heart. so I eased her in gently and explained why I was doing it and what people were getting out of it. She completely understands the difference between nudity and sex and sees my new role as a positive one. I have seen her confidence soar too and although she’s not into nudity, she has become more body positive herself.
Helen’s Mum (74)
Although not into Naturism myself, I have been amazed at Helen’s transformation. She has gone from hiding herself away in baggy jumpers to embracing body freedom and helping others. I’m very proud of her.
Helen Berriman
