The first time it really hit me that I wasn't in Kansas anymore, or rather, as far from my conservative Asian roots as I could get, was when I asked my then-three-year-old daughter to choose where to sit on a Portuguese beach. She promptly plonked her bum down next to a topless sunbather, something you'd be arrested for attempting in Asia. I spent the next several minutes waiting with bated breath for someone to tell the poor lady off or to leer at her. I don't remember when I finally relaxed but I remember thinking how amazing it was that she could be so free from prudes and creeps.
A few months later, I looked up topless sunbathing in Europe. It was then that I discovered Naturism and social nudity. I'd always been more comfortable the less I wore, but having grown up in the Philippines, I couldn't even have visible bra straps without feeling too exposed. I was going to have to take baby steps before even considering social nudity.
Growing up, I could only be less than fully clothed in my own bedroom. My culture reveres a chaste, modest woman. Although women are able to nurse babies in public, any other kind of skin exposure is considered scandalous. Even in school, practically the only sex education provided is, "Don't do it," and teachers can't say the anatomical terms for privates without choking on their words in embarrassment. Unfortunately, that means that young people don't always know they have the right to choose who has access to their bodies, or that bodies aren't dirty and shameful. I didn't want any of that for my daughter. I also wanted to be free from the societal constraints with which I had grown up. I moved to the UK in 2013.
I read up on Naturism little by little, and I tried nudity outside the bedroom. That was misunderstood several times. Eventually, I found a local Naturist club that looked promising. By that time, my British husband had finally understood that my nudity in our house didn't always mean I wanted things to get sexual. However, I just couldn't convince him to try Naturism himself. In his frustration at my persistence, he told me to just go and ask a male friend who I already knew also felt constrained by his clothes. That's when I realised my husband just wasn't interested. I asked my friend to go with me, but he had work commitments. I didn't know what to do. I was fine with others' nudity, but I've never liked being alone in a crowd. I could take my daughter, but I didn't want to take her anywhere I hadn't personally checked out first.
I mentioned the Naturist club to a colleague who I thought might not be too prudish. Surprisingly, she volunteered to come with me. We booked a chalet at the club for the last week of the school year. But then my husband and I tested positive for COVID and the trip had to be postponed, but by the time we were able to go my colleague couldn't make it and neither could my friend. I bit the bullet and went to the club with my little girl.
As excited as my daughter was when she saw how beautiful the site was, she got even more excited when she saw the pool. One of the members knocked at the chalet to ask if we wanted to swim, and my dawdling seven-year-old couldn't strip or run to the pool's shower fast enough! As soon as I joined her, I realised I needn't have worried about her safety. Everyone was very friendly and very protective of the children. It was a massive breath of fresh air to be around such acceptance. I felt like I was home with my people.
Since that first trip, my daughter and I have been nude or semi-nude at home more often than before. I haven't joined a club because it turns out that our local one only accepts membership enquiries from couples or families. However, I'm not too bothered. The weather's getting cold and it'll be a while before I feel warm enough to strip outdoors again. My husband has pointed out that I only feel warm outdoors for two out of twelve months. He says it might not be worth joining a club if I can book my few visits without membership. He's not exactly wrong about the English climate and me. In any case, I'm grateful for the friendship and advice offered by the first Naturists we met. It was our experience with them that convinced me to join BN.
It might be too late to book this year's family-centred events, but we're already looking forward to 2022. My daughter and I can't wait to meet more of our people, whether it's this year or the next!
Denise